Rejection

There are many people today who struggle with a sense of rejection, to a greater or lesser degree – are you one of them? Have you ever experienced an unkind word from someone you have cared about, been belittled by a work colleague or blanked by a neighbour? Some causes of that feeling of rejection are deep-seated because they are deep-rooted going back many years, even to childhood.  You may have heard from friends who tell you of something a teacher said to them at school (which the teacher would probably have long-forgotten) or of the breakup of a romance when off-the-cuff words cut deep.  Sometimes, it can be the words of a parent or sibling that will lead not only to the powerful negative emotion of rejection but also to a relationship breakdown that lasted for months, years or maybe even lingers on. How can you deal with it in yourself or help others struggling with the debilitating consequences as they carry this deadweight around with them?  There can yet be a breaking through of the sun for a sunrise can change everything.

  • ‘You have people come into your life shockingly and surprisingly. You have losses that you never thought you’d experience. You have rejection and you have to learn how to deal with that and how to get up the next day and go on with it’ – Taylor Swift
  • ‘Rejection is a common occurrence. Learning that early and often will help you build up the tolerance and resistance to keep going and keep trying’ – Kevin Feige
  • ‘Sometimes I feel my whole life has been one big rejection’ – Marilyn Monroe
  • ‘Too many Christians have a commitment of convenience. They’ll stay faithful as long as it’s safe and doesn’t involve risk, rejection, or criticism. Instead of standing alone in the face of challenge or temptation, they check to see which way their friends are going’ – Charles Stanley

Rejection can lead to the emptiness of alienation from others, loneliness and distrust that may prevent embarking on any further relationships. Yet surprisingly, it is not always a bad thing for rejection of ‘rejection’ can lead to acceptance! If you look at acceptance as the mirror opposite then it’s possible to see rejection of those harmful words, ideas and behaviours as a good thing. If a teacher or relative said unkind things, then now may be the time to recognise that and deny the power those words have over you.  Maybe you can ask a friend to help you in assessing those words that you replay to yourself – write them down and then burn them so that you can accept yourself in a liberated way.  Perhaps some wrong ideas have swayed your judgement and moved you in the wrong direction – ask a Christian friend about them so you can ‘weigh’ them against what God says in his Word.  Sometimes you may have fallen into bad habits or done something of which you are ashamed – this does not need to define who you are.  Ask a trusted Christian friend or Minister to help you think it through, to apply the key of truth from God’s Word into your life and walk in freedom with your head held high as a forgiven child of God. He chose you and adopted you to be his own which makes you special to him, no matter what anyone else may think.

  • ‘The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ’ – 2 Corinthians 10:4-5
  • ‘It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery’ – Galatians 5:1
  • ‘The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour’ – Luke 4:18-19
  • ‘Live as free people, but don’t hide behind your freedom when you do evil. Instead, use your freedom to serve God’ – 1 Peter 2:16

Do you need a sunrise in your life?  Imagine that the sun did not rise tomorrow – life would be short-lived.  This could be the right time for a sunrise to lift you out of the gloom and darkness of night.  If you are already in the day light, there will surely be some others around you who are waiting for the dawn of new hope and life.  Look at the faces of people in your life, have some conversations and then ask God to help you move with compassion to be a bringer of a new dawn.  If you are unsure of the difference it can make to come out from rejection, then set your alarm early when there is a clear sky and go out to enjoy a sunrise on an East facing hillside with the rejoicing dawn chorus of the birds – it is worth it!  It may be for you or for someone you care about, but if rejection is ruling, it’s time to break the spell, cut the power and come out from under the curse to live life to the full in the power of Christ.  Let the rising sun teach you this!

Recalibration (connect4life.org.uk)