After 58 years of trying to obey the rules in his own strength, one man shares how a divine revelation changed everything
What happens when you grow up in church, know all the right theological terms, yet still feel utterly empty inside? For Godwin, decades of Christian upbringing and Catholic tradition left him trapped in self-condemnation, trying – and failing – to earn God’s favour by his own willpower. Inspired by Terry Virgo’s recent article, From Religion to Relationship: How Grace Set Me Free, Godwin reached out to share his remarkable 25 year journey of hearing God’s gentle promptings, discovering the true meaning of his identity in Christ, and stepping out of spiritual prison at age 58.
I’m 58 years old and only came to understand Grace some months ago!
I am Catholic and was raised in church by Christian parents. Church was second nature in our home.
Of course I always knew the words – Jesus, Son of God, Gospel, Salvation, Grace, Forgiveness, Sin, New man, Old man, etc but I never had the revelation behind them. So I tried to obey the 10 commandments and, of course, I failed woefully. As a result, I had this emptiness in me and I had no idea what to do with it.
I was constantly in anger, self condemnation, diverse wilful sins, etc. I was never – and I mean NEVER – truly happy. I felt something was missing but never knew what it was so I stumbled through life hurting everyone I encountered and hurting myself much more.
But truly God is rich in Mercy and started teaching me Grace by speaking some phrases to me as soon as I got married. Of course I didn’t understand Him but he kept on –
2001 – (Voice) Get close to Jesus and you will know His mystery.
(Me) Mystery? Why not mysteries, does Jesus have only one mystery?
(Voice) The mystery is Jesus is the son of God.
2018 – In a dream a man mentioned Ephesians 2:20 (but I erroneously heard 20:20 so it didn’t make sense to me!)
2019 – I heard – “you are part of the building that has for its foundation the apostles and prophets”, and it was only in 2026 that I connected this to Ephesians 2:20 which was what I really heard back in 2018.
2025 – I saw in a dream Ephesians and John written beneath it.
2026 – I felt led to start reading Ephesians and it still wasn’t making sense to me. Then one day I ‘stumbled’ across Romans 1:16 , Paul speaking said – “I am not ashamed of the Gospel for it is the power of God for salvation for those who believe…” and a light came on in my head, and somehow I understood that whatever the Gospel meant was explained in Ephesians and that was what I needed to get salvation (which I understood as not just a ticket to heaven but the solution to my empty life now)
So I began reading/studying Ephesians and very slowly I started to understand the concept of Grace and the identity it bestowed on me. And I started to get excited about life. I felt like a prisoner released from long years of incarceration. The chains started falling off.
One day I began to worry about my life as I woke up to the mountains of personal problems still unresolved. Then in a whisper I heard – IDENTITY. And immediately I understood it was the Holy Spirit reminding me of my identity in Christ as chosen, redeemed, adopted into God’s family, made a child of God, forgiven, sealed with the Holy Spirit, seated with Christ, etc; realities I had been reading about in Ephesians and all my fears instantly dropped.
I have been living in that reality and growing in it daily for about three months now.
While I am grateful to God for His patience to teach me Himself what my Church didn’t – or maybe I was too blind to understand their own presentation in the Mass, sacraments, etc – I am now concerned for the many who are yet to have this knowledge and live free for Christ.
I try to explain Grace to individuals whenever I can and as a pre-marriage class teacher I now lay Grace as the foundation before trying to explain the structured teaching on love, respect and forgiveness in marriage.
I pray churches do even more to share the clarity of the Gospel, constantly. So many sincere Christians are exhausting themselves trying to obey God in their own strength and power, rather than stepping into the rest and freedom of receiving His love as a free gift.
So the question remains: how do you receive a gift you don’t know has been offered and is still on offer to you?
About The Author
Godwin is a pre-marriage class teacher and passionate advocate for the Gospel of grace. Having spent nearly six decades navigating religious tradition before experiencing a life-changing revelation of his identity in Christ, Godwin now writes and teaches to help believers step out of self-effort and legalism. He lives to help others discover the freedom, rest, and unconditional love offered to everyone through Jesus.
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