When failure hits, it can feel final. Shame, regret, and fear can crowd out any sense of hope, leaving us convinced that we’ve gone too far to be restored. In this pastoral letter, Oggy writes to “Dan” – and to anyone who has ever felt spiritually ruined – with honest, practical counsel rooted in Scripture and grace. It’s a reminder that confession is the beginning of renewal, and that God’s mercy is deeper than our mistakes.
Dear Dan,
You’re not the only one who has, as you say ‘fallen from grace’, and you certainly won’t be the last. When it happens, a whole range of emotions hit us like a tidal wave and it is so important to separate out emotions from facts. Here is some practical advice which is earthed in God’s commitment to you.
Write Your Wrong
Rather than going over your wrong-doing again and again, write it out just once. If you keep going over it, you will be unable to move forward but will tend to spiral into a bottomless pit of guilt, shame and condemnation. It may help to have the headings of ‘What’, ‘Who’, ‘Why’ and ‘How’.
- What happened?
- Who was affected by it along with you?
- Why did it happen (the circumstances)?
- How did it begin?
Having done that, remember that God is pleased when we are honest before him. When we repent, He promised to forgive and restore us. King David murdered Uriah and so he could commit adultery with Bathsheba. David wrote Psalms 32, 51 and 103 where he puts things right before God – a painful but healing journey. Here are some excerpts but I recommend you spend time reading and mulling over the psalms in full.
Three Healing Scriptures To Make Your Own
- ‘Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit. When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin’ – Psalm 32:1-5
- ‘God, be merciful to me because you are loving. Because you are always ready to be merciful, wipe out all my wrongs. Wash away all my guilt and make me clean again’ – Psalm 51:1-2
- ‘The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.He will not always accuse, nor will he harbour his anger forever;he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him;as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust’ – Psalm 103:4-14
What is your ‘takeaway’ from each of these passages in your own words – they are God’s promises to you.
The Renewal Journey
Confession of sin is the honest beginning of renewing your walk with God. John was very close to Jesus and he passes this personal word on for you: ‘If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar and His word is not in us.’ (1 John 1:8-10)
Next thing to do is to have that honest conversation with God, using your own words. Then read 1 Peter 5:7 – ‘Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.’
Jesus has given you His own words to help you in praying.
Use The Prayer of Jesus – The Lord’s Prayer
As you think now of God’s favour rather than of your wrong-doing, use this timeless and beautiful prayer to restore your peace:
‘Our Father which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done in earth,
as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
as we forgive our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil:
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power,
and the glory, for ever.
Amen.’
(Matthew 6:9-13)
Not Ruined But Renewed
Sometimes Dan, it can help to take that record of what happened and physically burn it. So you learn God’s faithfulness for a new start and burn the old ways to put them behind you.
There may be things you can do to help put right consequences of your actions that hurt others, or at least to say sorry and seek their forgiveness. In doing this, you must no longer say ‘I’m ruined’ for it is God Who is renewing you. He gives you new hope, a new way and works in your character for good, even through bad things.
Renewed Perspective
God is like no other Father – He gives endless second chances and, when we genuinely ask forgiveness, chooses not to see our sin. Instead, He sees you through the victory of His Son Jesus Who took your sin upon Himself on the cross. He knows us and totally provides for our need.
Press On
The prodigal son didn’t go back to feeding pigs when his father forgave and restored him. Likewise Dan, you must not keep looking back to a place of failure – that is what your enemy wants you to do. Instead, fix your eyes on Jesus, His victory, His promises to speak up for you and that nothing will ever separate you from Him.
Look at the future He has for you:
‘Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus’ – Philippians 3:12-14
Two Futures
The choice you have is a future with God or one without Him. The former brings two-way joy and the latter is one of two-way sorrow. Surely Dan, this is a ‘no-brainer’! These very great promises of God are given to us ‘so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world’ (2 Peter 1:4). This is not a journey to do alone for God promises that He will help you through His Holy Spirit (Ephesians 3:14-21).
Be Stronger
That’s quite a lot of bible verses I’ve given you here Dan, but this is how God strengthens you, bringing you through experiences like this to greater maturity. My prayer is that you will see how God can turn this for your good in the end.
Your fellow traveller,
Oggy
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