The Scary Reality of Telling the People Who Love You Who You Are Now 

Finding Quiet Peace in a Loud World

It is one thing to discover a quiet, personal relationship with God; it is another thing entirely to live it out under the gaze of a busy world. For the past year, I have been quietly walking a new path as a Christian, balancing the deep internal peace of my faith with the wonderful, chaotic reality of my daily life. 

But the hardest part of change isn’t the shift inside yourself – it’s letting the people you love see the new landscape of your heart.

This is a personal reflection on the first twelve months of answering the call…

—-

I’ve been consciously following a path of faith for just over a year now – making a commitment to Jesus and quietly calling myself a Christian – keen to find the peace and tranquility I’ve always felt was present in holding religious beliefs, whilst navigating the sometimes deafening chaos of running my own business, raising two children, and upholding the promise I made to my partner to be the loving, supportive and caring woman he needs by his side as he navigates his own relationship with God in the modern world. 

And, whilst I feel ever so strongly tied to Jesus and his story, I feel a sense of contentment when visiting my local church, and I feel an overwhelming desire to consume God’s word through the bible, I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t something holding me back. 

You see, my friends – most of which have known me for over 25 years – and my family, individuals I hold very dear to my heart, don’t know me as a Christian. Rather, they know me as someone very confused and conflicted about faith. As someone interested in knowing more and understanding Christianity but cautious of it. And most of them don’t hold any religious beliefs themselves so don’t really understand that when God calls, you answer.

And, to be honest, it’s not an easy concept to explain to someone who’s never felt the hand of God upon their shoulder and, in fact, has only known you to be a very specific person throughout your life. 

But, isn’t that the point? To fully commit to Jesus with my body and my soul, to embrace God’s love and put my total trust in Him means sometimes doing things that feel scary and, actually, proudly declaring my new found faith with my full chest doesn’t mean I’ve necessarily changed – or, at least, the parts of me they know and love haven’t changed – rather, I’ve found something – or someone – greater than I to hold on to. Something that will only serve to enhance my life and provide me the quiet peace I’ve always searched for in an otherwise loud and chaotic world. 

— 

Sharing my own personal journey of faith in this way; what brought me to God, the sacrifices I’ve made along the way, and the fulfillment and beauty I’ve found in faith – especially coming from a place of none to forming a meaningful relationship with God – has been cathartic and has helped me understand why I chose to follow this path. 

If, like me, you’re new to Christianity and you find meaning in writing things down, telling stories and opening up conversations, I implore you to share your story with Connect4Life and the community we’re building around real, human stories of faith and inspiration: https://connect4life.org.uk/sharing-stories/ 

---

About The Author