There are some paintings, writings and people in life that kick-start fresh thinking. In what they express, you can see a richness that may challenge and enhance your own understanding. One such catalyst to deeper thinking is Martin Buber (1878 – 1965). Writing on many topics, he rejected the label of ‘philosopher’ or ‘theologian’, claiming he was not interested in ideas, only personal experience, and could not discuss God, but only relationships to God. His Theory of Human Existence was first published in 1923 entitled ‘I and Thou’ (Ich and Du), the major theme being that human life finds its meaningfulness in relationships. If you have not come across this before, it’s worth a look as it will help you consider how you relate to the world in which you live, the other beings who live in it and to God (whether or not you believe in him!).
- ‘That you need God more than anything, you know at all times in your heart. But don’t you know also that God needs you—in the fullness of his eternity, you? How would man exist if God did not need him, and how would you exist? You need God in order to be, and God needs you—for that which is the meaning of your life’ – Martin Buber
- ‘We may ignore, but we can nowhere evade the presence of God. The world is crowded with Him. He walks everywhere incognito’ – C S Lewis
- ‘You were made by God and for God, and until you understand that, life will never make sense’ – Rick Warren
- ‘A god who let us prove his existence would be an idol’ – Dietrich Bonhoeffer
To say that God needs us is presumptuous but it must be true that he would not have brought us into existence if he didn’t want us and to have a relationship with us. Martin Buber and Selwyn Hughes were both deeply impacted when they met two separate young men who went on to commit suicide. Selwyn Hughes developed a counselling model and ministry that has helped thousands of people. Buber constructed a framework for understanding relationships that he defined using two word pairs: I-It and I-Thou. This represents two distinct ‘ways of being’ with another person: that of being an ‘I’ toward an ‘It’ (treating them as an object) or that of an ‘I’ toward a ‘Thou’ (treating them with value, for ‘the other being’ exists as an unrepeatable inestimable image-bearer of God). When we treat people in the ’I-It’ way, we see them as objects to ignore or exploit. Relating to them in the ‘I-Thou’ manner becomes a living relationship. Buber sums it up by saying: ‘All real life is meeting’.
Drawing on this model, Peter Scazzero wrote about being ‘emotionally healthy’ and referred to three questions to help us in relating to others: 1) Am I fully present or distracted? 2) Am I loving or judging? 3) Am I open or closed to being changed? We all live in a bubble that we can define as ‘My World’ and encounter everyone else in ‘Your World’. When we are willing to connect across differences, God fills the in-between space: ‘… genuine relationship with any person as a Thou reveals traces of the eternal Thou. This helps to explain why it is such a powerful experience when two people listen deeply to one another’. Being ‘fully present’ with another person means we value them, listen to them and recognise the unique way they ‘hope, think, believe, feel, value and fear’ may well be different to us.
The world would be a more peaceful place if we attempted to understand other people and accept they may have different points of view. Limited help with this comes from philosophy which offers discursive reasoning on issues of ethics, metaphysics, and cosmology. In contrast, the biblical witness provides us instead with declarations from God and historical accounts of God’s actions, whether or not we accept them. Here are some references as you reflect on this:
- ‘So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them’ – Genesis 1:22
- ‘Work at getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you’ll never get so much as a glimpse of God. Make sure no one gets left out of God’s generosity. Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time’ – Hebrews 12:14-15 The Message (a paraphrase)
- ‘God has chosen you to be his own special people. You belong to him and he loves you very much. So this is how you should live: Be kind to other people and help them. Do not think that you are better than other people. Instead, respect them and be patient with them’ – Colossians 3:12 (Easy English Bible)
- ‘So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut; Doesn’t have a swelled head; Doesn’t force itself on others; Isn’t always me first; Doesn’t fly off the handle; Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others; Doesn’t revel when others grovel; Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth; Puts up with anything; Trusts God always; Always looks for the best; Never looks back, but keeps going to the end’ – 1 Corinthians 13: 3-8 The Message
Do you think and live more as I-It or I-Thou? Have a listen to this famous old hymn, ‘How Great Thou Art’, sung by Chris Rice. As you consider these things, may you feel the gentle breeze of awesome wonder that God is actually all around and wants a living relationship with you in the present:
For more reading and thinking: Relationships – Connect4Life
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