Mourning Loss

Finding Solid Ground When the Storms of Grief Rush In

Bereavement and grief are inescapable parts of the human experience. They pay no attention to timeliness or seasons, often rushing into our lives from several directions all at once. When these waves hit, the immediate danger is feeling completely overwhelmed. How do we anchor ourselves when our world begins to shake? By looking closely at the profound promise of Jesus in the Beatitudes we can discover a deep, resilient strength designed to hold us together when we feel most vulnerable.

Bereavement and grief are part of all of our lives. They pay no attention to timeliness or seasons but can sometimes rush in from several directions. When this happens, the danger is of being overwhelmed so how can we find strength from the words of Jesus: ‘Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted’ (Matthew 5:4)

Mourning Losses

There are so many ways to suffer loss and not one of us is immune from it. In Luke 15, we see the anxious woman searching for her lost coin, the shepherd seeking for his lost sheep and the father grieving for his lost son. All these things we experience in some measure – lost possessions, lost pets, lost relationships. The impact of losing things is moderate compared to losing those we hold dear. Loss of any kind brings that empty ache to our hearts and a yearning for restoration.

Loss Is Proof

The obvious proof of loss is that we value what we have lost. The greater the value, the bigger the sense of loss. Yet there is another more subtle thing to consider – loss is a proof of the need for God’s comfort and of God’s provision for us in our human condition which is frail, vulnerable and temporary. When Jesus brought His nine profound teachings to the crowds on the mountain, He was bringing them to individuals and He brings them to you today.

The First Beatitude

Jesus is concerned for those who are ‘poor in Spirit’ – this is for those who feel downcast, low and perhaps even depressed. The provision open to them is that they are given entry to the ‘kingdom of heaven’. The message is that Jesus cares and provides for our needs. Present suffering is to be replaced by future glory.

The Second Beatitude

Knowing that we suffer many losses, Jesus speaks right to the heart of anyone suffering right now with His promise of comfort especially in the grief of bereavement.

‘Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted’ – Matthew 5:4 NIV

This is effectively referring to the inevitable times of mourning that are a part of our lives on earth now. Another rendering of this by Eugene Peterson makes it clearer that it is ‘when’ not ‘if’ we suffer loss.

‘You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you‘– Matthew 5:4 The Message (A paraphrase)

Shockwaves

In regions that are prone to earthquakes, architects have designed buildings to endure shockwaves. This happens by flexing, absorbing energy, and preventing catastrophic collapse rather than by trying to remain perfectly rigid. Modern seismic engineering focuses on controlled movement, ductility, and energy dissipation so that a structure can shake without falling. For a Christian losing a loved one is much like a shockwave but the comfort of Christ’s presence will prevent collapse.

A House And A Tree

Jesus showed the importance of good foundations for a house in the story he gave of two builders. One built on sand and one on rock – when the storms came, it was the one with a firm foundation that stood (Matthew 7:24-27). In the Old Testament, Psalm 1 is about the tree that can cope with all kinds of weather and still be fruitful – the tree is shown to be a picture of someone who trusts in God.

Personal Proof

Losing parents, close friends and even two nephews, I have experienced deep shockwaves. Even as I write, this past week I have suffered four losses – a young single woman in a motorbike accident, a seven-year old child, an experienced Nursing Sister in her 50s and a young grandmother from illnesses. You cannot get away from it, ‘Death is part of life’ – so said 12th century thinker Bernard of Chartres and apparently Forest Gump!

My experience has been of being shaken but not of faith crashing down. In the Old Testament, nobody suffered loss more than Job but he never turned his back on God, instead he grew in his faith through loss.

‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised’ – Job 1:21

Comfort And Strength

Comfort is a theme throughout the Bible. Despite humanity’s original disobedience, hope and comfort is given in Genesis of blessing that would come to us all. The final part of the jigsaw in the complex book of Revelation shows how that blessing and hope is fulfilled for all who trust in the work of Christ Jesus to enter into our suffering.

Draw Near And Receive

The word ‘comfort’ appears in the Bible over 70 times – God knows we need it.

In sorrow – ‘You who are my Comforter in sorrow, my heart is faint within me’ – Jeremiah 8:18

When weary – ‘Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest’ – Matthew 11:28

To share – ‘Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God’ – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Lasting peace – ‘Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid’ – John 14:27

Always there – ‘And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Comforter, so that He may be with you forever, which is the Spirit of Truth – whom the world cannot receive, because the world neither sees Him nor knows Him. But you know Him, for He dwells with you, and shall be in you’ – John 14:16-17

Remember

Celebrate what you have and what you have had. Celebrate too with others as they rejoice.

‘There is a time for everything … a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance…’ – Ecclesiastes 3:4
‘Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn’ – Romans 12:15

You may be the one that God will use to bring comfort to someone else suffering loss – in time, they may be the ones He uses to bring you the comfort you will surely need.