Christian Advice For Marriage: How Do We Build a Lasting Union?
In a world where relationships often feel temporary and the term “commitment” is treated with caution, the idea of a lifelong marriage can feel like a radical, counter-cultural act. We are surrounded by a “maybe” culture—one that often prioritizes personal convenience over permanent covenants. Yet, despite the shifting social landscape, the deep-seated human longing for a partner who truly knows us and stays with us remains as strong as ever.
But how do we build something that actually lasts? To understand how to make a marriage thrive today, we have to look past the modern trends and return to the original blueprint. By looking at where marriage began and comparing ancient wisdom with modern reality, we can find a foundation that is far more secure than just “feeling in love.” Here is Christian advice for marriage…
How is marriage defined in secular understanding?
‘The legally or formally recognised union of two people as partners in a personal relationship (historically and in some jurisdictions specifically a union between a man and a woman).’
Where does marriage originate?
Marriage is first mentioned in Genesis 2:24 – ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.’ Biblically speaking, it is described as a union between a male and a female. Marriage is best understood as being monogamous and is a lifelong commitment. Finally, God is the one who invented marriage.
Why did God introduce marriage?
- Sexual purity – marriage provides a morally proper context, before God, for sexual union.
- Provision of children—Marriage is the best place to bring children into the world since the marriage bond implicates the husband and wife in a lifelong commitment not only to each other but also to their offspring.
- Protection of the spouse – marriage provides a protective union. In many ancient cultures women were abused by sexually predatorial males, but once married were protected by a husband.
- Protection of children—Marriage provides a protective union for the raising of children. A covenantally bound couple who have produced children is more likely to seek the welfare of those children. If the marriage is dissolved or one spouse abandons the other, the children are more vulnerable to various corruptive pressures, as modern statistics demonstrate.
- Limits sexual promiscuity with its dangers – sexual promiscuity has potential dangerous ill effects. Multiple sexual partners can spread sexual diseases. Multiple sexual partners lessen emotional commitments, and if children are produced, it lessens the commitment to them as well.
- Dominion mandate – God told Adam and Eve to multiply and fill the earth (Genesis 1:28). This cannot be done without offspring and marriage is the best place to raise offspring.
Case Study
Before we look at advice on marriage, let’s first see what is going on with marriage as an institution. If you take just the UK as a case study, the headline statistics don’t look promising for the future of marriage. Here are the broad indicators:
‘I DO!’ – Marriage in 2026
- Less people are getting married and they are doing so later – the median age for an opposite-sex marriage is 32.7 years for men and 31.2 years for women
- Over 90% of couples cohabit before committing to marriage
- The average cost of a wedding is £21,000- £25,000
- Civil ceremonies made up nearly 86% of marriages, while religious ceremonies fell to 14
- With 232,000 marriages expected, this means that only 40% of adults are married
- Average wedding size is 85 with barns and hotels being preferred to churches
‘I DON’T!’ – Divorce In 2026
- 42% of marriages in England and Wales are projected to end in divorce
- Average marriage duration is 12.7 years for opposite-sex couples
- Recent figures show over 103,000 legal partnership dissolutions granted annually
- Only one ground for divorce is legally required since 2022 – ‘the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage’
- Additionally, separated Brits identify infidelity (cheating), simply ‘growing apart,’ and a lack of communication as the most prominent catalysts
- Average age for divorce is 45 for men and 42 for women with women initiating 63% of all divorces
Some Practical Conclusions
These statistics suggest several things to think through if you want to get married:
- Don’t wait till you can afford £25,000 but tailor the wedding to what you can afford
- Keep it simple
- Don’t do it unless you are sure and want to make a genuine life-long commitment to a spouse
- Understand what Biblical marriage is first – enrol on a marriage preparation course eg. HTB Course https://www.youtube.com/live/XWrOD7IfV1E?si=U6PhtCQMUox0H-RG
The Christian Advice!
Having read through the above, ask yourself whether you still want to get married! Specifically, ask:
- Do I love my partner so deeply that I can’t see myself without him or her?
- Do I want to commit myself exclusively to him or her?
- Do I want to honour God and my partner in my marriage by having Him in the centre of our relationship?
If you can genuinely say ‘I do’ to these three questions, you are probably ready to get married. As a final check, read 1 Corinthians 13 and Ephesians 5 (especially verses 21 – 33), noting all the challenges and advice for living out a life of love. There’s a great need for patience, humility and grace but marriage is a God-given space for great sexual intimacy and to know unique joys of a commitment that is ‘for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death parts you.’ If you want your marriage to last beyond the case study statistics, discuss these passages with your intended spouse and pray together.
If you are married and want to refresh your marriage, then HTB also has a popular online marriage course that is helpful: https://htb.org/marriage-online . If your marriage is in difficulty, see if you and your spouse can agree to have counselling to help save it eg: Association of Christian Counsellors https://www.acc-uk.org/
The old cliché is true, ‘Those who pray together, stay together’.
A Prayer – Lord God, Thank you for the idea of marriage and for the wonderful richness of it as a gift. I ask your blessing and help that I may have the best possible marriage with you right at the centre. Amen
Building on a Foundation of Grace
Marriage is perhaps the most beautiful, yet most demanding, mirror we will ever look into; it has the power to reveal our greatest strengths and our most brittle weaknesses and, as the statistics show, the “irretrievable breakdown” of a relationship is a painful reality for many in our community, and the scars of divorce are felt deeply across generations.
If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by the challenges of a long-term commitment, or if you are currently walking through a season of disconnection, remember that you aren’t expected to sustain a marriage on your own strength.
A lasting relationship is less about two perfect people finding each other and more about two forgiven people continually offering one another patience, humility, and grace.
When we invite God into the centre of our union, we aren’t just adding a religious tradition; we are plugging into a source of selfless love that doesn’t run dry, even when our own patience does. Whether you are preparing to say “I do,” or you are seeking to refresh a bond that has otherwise grown weary, there is always room for restoration.
In a world of shifting sand, a marriage anchoured in God’s grace is a place of true safety, unique joy, and a love that genuinely stands the test of time.
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